First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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