that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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