Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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