I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize