Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Holy shit dude........stairs
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize