We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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