So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
