Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
