I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
