yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
