Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
