Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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