dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
