im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
