I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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