i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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