Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
