I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize