i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
meet me or not, i'm out of control
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Couch. On fire.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
