i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
