Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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