She is in my trunk
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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