Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize