He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Less talking, more tequila
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
