i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
