I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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