STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
barbara walters just said penis...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I have already put on my inside pants.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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