so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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