$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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