nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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