"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
