she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
