If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Is it because I queefed?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
organizing the empties. That sober.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
