she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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