i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
