Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
