She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
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