bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
