This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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