He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
