At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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