I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
