I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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