Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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