I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize