it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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