My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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