Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
