Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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