sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
