Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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