i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
