I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize