Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
