Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
