There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
