The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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