..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
