U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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