well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Randomize
