Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
