What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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