dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
