Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
