i was rollin on her like bob the builder
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I love you.
Bad choice
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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