so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
