Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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