he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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