You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
