so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
