He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
