That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
