we have pet lesbian snakes
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
