im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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