eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
