Midget sex pt 2 tonight
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize