I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
