Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You have to summon your inner elephant
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
