god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
