When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize