i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
