Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
