'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
